One Door Closes and Another Opens...

[Doug]

For all those who know me and what I was looking to do - there have been some major changes which change the course of my direction. Don't mean to clutter the boards here, but instead of getting a ton of individual questions, I figured I would just post here. For those who don't know me or my situation, here is my story and my original plan: I am former active duty and served in the Teams. I got married young, took my honorable discharge (after only one tour) and re-entered civilian life. I also now have one son (2 years old - my "future" SEAL) and am a single father with full legal and physical custody of my son. Well, my plan was to re-enlist back into the Navy and re-join the Teams. I wanted this very badly because I missed the Teams very, very much. Some of the best years of my life were in the Navy and I worked with the best men I have ever met while serving (they were like brothers, not just friends or co-workers). I wanted to work in this outstanding family again - with this amazing band of brothers. I felt like I left my family (Teammates) behind when I left. So I wanted to get back...

Well, anyway, I had been to the recruiters, MEPS, had A LOT of paperwork in the works and everything seemed good to go (and most likely, with a few waivers for odds and ends and a few persoanl issues, I could have gotten back in), but now my plans are changed. I am not going to re-enlist. Why? Well after MANY extremely LONG discussions with family, friends and former teammates (not on this site - I mean men I have actually served with that are still in) and after very careful consideration, I have decided to remain civilian. Why? Many reasons for this decision. As stated above, I have 100% full legal and physical custody of my 2 year old future frogman, Andrew. *S* If I leave, what would become of him? He is my responsibility - I brought him into this world and I LOVE him to death. My former swim buddy opened my eyes to the light that I have a son and must think of him first and foremost (Thanks bro - stay safe). In addition to this, my girlfriend is also divorced with 2 girls which she has custody for. I accepted a responsibility to be there for her and her two girls. Although she said she would support ANY decision I made, my brothers (teammates) guided me to see what they thought I should do. Everyone had the same advice: "Yes, we want you back more than anything, but you have some very important responsibilities. Deal with them. Guide the kids to grow up, train Andrew right, get rich and live happily ever after...and stay in touch" *lol* Love all you guys. Thanks so much. After my careful consideration, I have to agree with them. I must tend to my resoonsibilities as a loving father to the kids and boyfriend and beyond to my girlfriend. (I LOVE YOU LISA!)

So what is my new situation? Well if you noticed in my profile, I have a new location. I am living in South Florida (Coral Springs) now with Lisa and the kids. I am job searching for something down here. I am looking into Law Enforcement or maybe a diving job if I can find one. Anyone wanna hire a former frog? *lol* Something will come up. I was looking into opening my own martial arts school, but don't have start-up capital at this time. Maybe some day. SO anyway, I will now be living and working as a civilian in Southern Florida and can spend all my time with the kids and Lisa. Not to mention, I can get season tickets for my Miami Dolphins next year! (still in mourning about this season *lol* oh well). So I am not going to look back with regret at the past, but I will look forward to the future with much optimism and promise. Do I still miss the Teams and my teammates? Your damn right I do - like all hell, but like they told me, I have other responsibilities now. When one door closes another one opens. Well, Im not looking back at the one that closed as I am now stepping through the new one that opened.

I hope that noone on this site thinks badly of me due to my decision and I hope you can see where Im coming from. You would think normally it would be my former teammates that would be upset, but ironically, they were the ones that want me to remain a civilian. Im glad the way things are going and dont worry Im not leaving the site (as if anyone really cares). I hope I am not disappointing anyone here, especially the other former teamguys (you know who you are). And the active guys - I was looking forward to working with you guys again (you know who you are too). Best of luck to everyone and I will still be around. Any further questions, as always, feel free!...

[tvlr]

Doug,

I think you made a wise decision. I really hope you find a vocation that you are happy with and have a outstanding life with Lisa,her 2 girls and yous son Andrew.

tvlr............................

[haydon21]

Good Luck Doug. I think you made the hardest right choice you will ever have to make. I wish you and your son well in the future.

Tim

[ThenThereWazLite]

Nice to meet you, Doug. I almost feel intrusive reading all about your life...hope you don't mind my comment.

I think it's a wonderful decision you've made. I am a female technical diver and I also have a full-time administrative job. Most of the serious, professional divers I know have full-time jobs that are flexible enough to allow them to train in diving as well. I live in Tennessee but travel to southern Florida almost monthly and have many diving contacts there. There are diving projects/jobs all over the place as well as conservation projects which is my main interest.

It's very easy to maintain a professional job to take care of a family & still be an active diver. My boyfriend is in the Army & between the two of us we have four children (two live with us). We both work and I still maintain my diving schedule...so I am proof it really is possible =)

Good luck to you!

Bev

[Wetwash]

Proud of you Doug..You are thinking on your feet..and showing the utmost generosity and concern for your loved ones. Best of luck in whatever you do Teammate.

[PJ]

Way to go Doug - making this choice had to be very hard. For what it's worth, I think you done good.
You are lucky, you have memories of the Teams and are on the way to a great civilian life too.


I hope that noone on this site thinks badly of me due to my decision and I hope you can see where Im coming from.


If anyone does think badly of you for this decision - then all I can say if that they are not and never were your friend.


Have a great life, all of you,

PJ

[soulburst]

You are a mans man for accepting your responsabilites.How many boys grow up w/o a father
these day ,we are a dying breed.Good luck to you and your family and God bless.

[sjr78]

Doug,

Good luck with your decision, I believe that you made the right choice. A boy needs his father, and it sounds like your a great father. Glad to hear that your still be on the board too, always look forward to your posts! Good luck with everything, I'm sure you will enjoy a great life (hopfeully I will be as lucky). Take care!

-steve

[Moon2002]

You're an amazing person, Doug. You really are. I wish you the BEST of luck.

God Bless!

-Matt

[el_oso]

Well, f it feels right, it is probably right.
Just hope your son deserves it - he will probably since he's your......

[Kbar-207]

Doug

The right decision is always the hardest to make--- you made it. From one teammate to another good luck!

[byoungsjr]

Doug,
Please email me. I might be able to lend you a hand with some contacts in the Broward County Sheriffs Dept and the Davie PD.

byoungs@bellsouth.net

[Swimmer2004]

Doug, I think you couldn't have made a better choice, I've lived some of my life absent of my father and it can get tough. Its great to hear that Andrew will have you there for him. I definatly believe that you have made the best decision possible. I am proud of you for the self-less decision you have made.
Best of Luck,
Lee

[FNG]

Ahhhhh...Dr. Laura would be proud. Best of luck to you and the kids. :)

[tfwmissions]

YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER!!!.............. *Laughing* Just kidding with ya Doug. I think you made the right decision. Making the right decisionis surely the hardest and most difficult. But I respect you more as a person and a father for standing by your TRUE family! Your the man Doug! If you ever come to Dallas just give me a hollar and maybe I can give you some contacts to be a Police officer. God bless!

[childofgod]

I'm not proud of you Doug.

But I sure am proud for you, you're a good guy, I'm glad to know you, and take advice from you.

God Bless you Doug

[sirenx]

yes Doug you are a mighty impressive fella. IF you still want to be involved with the Teams you should consider a How to be a father survival class for all the Frogs that find themselves lacking in those skills. You sound like you could teach them a thing or two. I know of a few kids and worn out moms who would really appreciate it.
Your family is very lucky.

[Doug]

Thank you everyone for your encouraging and supporting words. I know it does not matter what anyone else thinks, but it is nice to know that people around you understand your decision when you talk for so long about taking a different route. Like, I said I have no regrets...Im proud to be able to look back at the times I did have with the Teams. I miss it and would not trade those memories for the world, but now this new chapter in my life, closes the military chapter. So be it. I just wanted to say Thanks to everyone and of course I will still be around the boards to give advice, complain and yell and scream at phonies. *lol*

To the formers - a special Thank you to you guys for the support. It means a lot hearing it from other frogs. Like I said before, when my former Teammates were giving me the advice it really made me think POSITIVELY about my decision and helped me make the right decision. Didnt want to feel like I was abandoning them. They helped clear my head to think the right way. SO an extra special thanks to all the real former frogs on this site (and off). You understanding of my situation does mean a great deal...

And yes, I hope to see many of you at the muster in Fort Pierce in November...

Fisher, you said:



you refered to your son as your 'little SEAL'. Please don't try to dictate who he becomes. Especially if there is a tenge of "I didn't get to go back so you must do it for me". You can show him what you know through the port hole but you have to let him decide if he likes what he sees. And don't be disappointed if he does not follow suit. And, Doug, please don't hold that against me for saying that.


First - of course I dont hold anything against you for saying that. I actually agree with you 100%. Would I like to see Andrew CHOOSE to go to the Teams? Yes, I would like to see him follow my suit (AFTER he graduates college *lol* - that's one thing he WILL do - college). If he chooses not to join the Navy at all, that is fine. It is his life to lead - not mine. I have made all my own decisions as he will make his. I will just be there to give him guidance and advice should he need it or ask for it. The only thing I would not tolerate is him going to BUD/S and quitting! If he does decide to go down the SEAL route, he better be damn well ready to die for it as I (and ALL formers) were. Some did. But whatever choices Andrew makes, I'll be proud, as I already am, to have him as my son! Thanks...

And again, thank you to all. And if any of you did want to send me an email (whether you know me or not - yet), feel free. I dont enough nowadays. *lol* (probably shouldn't of said that *lmao*) But really, feel free. Talk to you all later...

[outdoorguy]

Well Doug, I believe that you made the right decision there. I too have been faced with the same problem, not that I'm a SEAL but reentering the military to become a SEAL and having 2 sons (Ben-4 and Hunter-2). Its been a very long road and has taken a lot of thinking. I just hope I still get to spend quality time with them, raise them, and be a good father to them. Guess thats just something I will have to find out on my own. But anyways good luck to you, I'm sure you will find you a great job down there. Thanks and God Bless.

[sealette]

Hi there!

My GOD you sound like a lovely man. If only all men could be as nurturing and responsible. Brawn, brains, heart and courage- a true Renaissance man ;-) er..... got any brothers??? *LOL*
Well I wish you the best of luck in your future and I'm sure your family will be all the richer for having a happy dad and fantastic rolemodel (girls need their Daddy too) and I'm sure they will be proud of you and grateful to you for making your decision, hard though it obviously was. Its great to see you're positive in your choice too. You aren't sacrificing anything, you are taking a new path in life, and one that will undoubtedly bring you happiness. I'm sure your former SEAL team mates will always be your band of brothers, and that they when they too face dilemmas in life, you will support them and guide them in the same courageous and responsible way. I hope everything goes swimmingly for you and that you have every success in your new life, fond memories of the old, and a healthy happy family.

Sealette x

[NeverQuit]

Doug, this is actually my first post, however I have been reading on this sight for a long time. I just want to say that my heart goes out with you and your family. I wish you luck in finding a job where you feel comfortable. I will pray for you.

[RyE124]

WHOA! This made my heart smile. =) Your message made me feel as if I were reading "Chicken Soup for the Soul." It's a great thing that you decided to remain a civilian for the reasons you have shared with us. As I was reading, I thought that you can raise your son to become a SEAL and when he has a family, your grandson will be a SEAL, and so on. It might start a generational tradition! In my home it's only my mom, my sister and I. My mom was in the navy for 12 years. My dad, unfortunately, is a forbidden subject, although I never found the courage to ask. For this reason, your mesage really got to me. Most of my uncles were in the military, and I will hopefully become the first SEAL. Back to my point, choosing to support your kin over working the most exciting job is a really hard decision. I respect and admire how you made the smart decision. I bet my dad is somewhere living his life scared of responsibility of having children. No offense to anyone. No matter what anyone says, only you can choose your own destiny.