teamwife8807
08-24-2008, 07:46 AM
Welcome :) I agree this site has lots information & a great way to get in touch with others in similar situations! My husband has been accepted to training and will start pre-training in Chicago this Nov & then back to San Diego to class up in January! How long has your husband been on the teams? Any advice on what to expect once my hubby starts training & God willing, once he makes it through to the teams?
Also~ if anyone is living in the San Diego area: we are looking at housing & would love to hear from anyone who has recommendations on best locations for off base housing.
Thanks a ton! Hope to hear back soon!
Hi Airdawn!
Thank you for the welcome and taking the time to read my first post! My husband has been a SEAL (aka "team guy") for 5 yrs and we have been living the team life together for 4 years and have been through 2 deployments. I met him after BUDs while I was in college. To get straight to your question... team work. That's the name of the game. You got team work, then you got each others back and will come out stronger with each challenge thrown your way as you go through BUDs etc.
While I was reading your posting I was thinking, thinking what I wish I would have known then compared to what I know now... I hope this helps! :)
Be prepared for separation and a change in focus i.e. job and priorities. To deal with this here are some key points.
Communication - every couple is different with how they like to communicate while they are separated. It also depends on what the guys training/working schedule is like. Some wives prefer not to talk while their guys are gone. Others talk/email every chance they get. You'll find what works for you two. My husband and I... our thing is... when he can, he calls me at night and we fall asleep together on the phone and we skype as well.
Do your thing - work, go back to school, workout, take up a hobby while he's pursuing his goals. This will keep you occupied and fulfilled.
Love him - times will be so lovey and starry-eyed (esp when they are returning from 2-7 months train or deployment) other times will be challenging and stressful. When he gets sent to schools (especially jump school and sniper school if he's enlisted) or he's deployed, love him strong and remind him how amazing he is because he may need that extra boost and reminder that this all is worth it and he can do it. Another thing to remember is, nothing is guaranteed with them and their line of work... they are the best of the best with the best training and support... but every moment you have with each other is precious because you just never know.
Emotions - team life is definitely the 6 flags theme park of emotional roller coasters. You'll have your days... of ups and downs... but you get through it and get to know your strength and blessings that much better. The most important thing... don't get down on yourself... if you miss him like crazy, then the next moment you're mad he's not around, then later you're soooo happy and joyous that he's your man and what he's accomplished. It's all apart of the process. Let yourself feel all the emotions and figure out how to deal with them and you'll come out stronger person and a better partner in the marriage. Me personally... I run... it helps to workout and keep the emotions in check when they leave for their trips or deployment. The wives also do crossfit. It's awesome and great time to work it out and "get some" and also bond with the other wives.
Teams - when your husband becomes apart of a team... it's a brotherhood. This may not be a problem for some wives for others its a tough concept. Team guys are different than your typical warrior. They LOVE LOVE LOVE what they do. They are the kind of guys that that ask for deployment and when they get sent over to the middle east or other missions they are considered lucky. They train soooo hard and want to do what they have been trained to do and want to be where the action is, even if that means being away from their loved ones. They know you are strong enough to handle or else they wouldn't have brought you this far if they didn't think you were capable. Without sounding to dramatic my husband and I always like this particular scene in the movie "300", when the queen sends her husband, the king, off to battle. In this scene when they are saying good bye and the narrator says, "Only the hard and strong may call themselves Spartans" and they show the king leaving and the queen standing strong and stoic. That scene resonated with us and team lifestyle we lead. Not everyone can be a SEAL and the same is to be said for the women that do the behind the scenes work so our men can pursue their passion and serve our country! Not a lot of women can lead this life style it really is only for the hard and strong. My husband and I say when he's deployed he takes care of that side of the world and I take care of this side.
Another thing to say about the teams... it's a family and great support. Everyone takes care of everyone, the wives and the team guys and the command it's self. We're family we go through a lot together everything from the birth of new babies to the loss of team guy and everything in between. You are never alone and always someone going through it with you! It's a great blessing!
Now, I don't know if I said too much or not enough. These are all just some my thoughts and my experiences. I don't speak for any other team wives only my own thoughts. Either way let me know if you have any questions. Keep it strong girl! I think your awesome to already get a jump start on this and support your husband the way you are! Takes a strong woman! Just take each day as it comes, as a team!
Take care of yourselves and I wish you two all the best!
Teamwife8807
"One who overcomes others has force;
One who overcomes himself is strong."
~Taoist Poem
Also~ if anyone is living in the San Diego area: we are looking at housing & would love to hear from anyone who has recommendations on best locations for off base housing.
Thanks a ton! Hope to hear back soon!
Hi Airdawn!
Thank you for the welcome and taking the time to read my first post! My husband has been a SEAL (aka "team guy") for 5 yrs and we have been living the team life together for 4 years and have been through 2 deployments. I met him after BUDs while I was in college. To get straight to your question... team work. That's the name of the game. You got team work, then you got each others back and will come out stronger with each challenge thrown your way as you go through BUDs etc.
While I was reading your posting I was thinking, thinking what I wish I would have known then compared to what I know now... I hope this helps! :)
Be prepared for separation and a change in focus i.e. job and priorities. To deal with this here are some key points.
Communication - every couple is different with how they like to communicate while they are separated. It also depends on what the guys training/working schedule is like. Some wives prefer not to talk while their guys are gone. Others talk/email every chance they get. You'll find what works for you two. My husband and I... our thing is... when he can, he calls me at night and we fall asleep together on the phone and we skype as well.
Do your thing - work, go back to school, workout, take up a hobby while he's pursuing his goals. This will keep you occupied and fulfilled.
Love him - times will be so lovey and starry-eyed (esp when they are returning from 2-7 months train or deployment) other times will be challenging and stressful. When he gets sent to schools (especially jump school and sniper school if he's enlisted) or he's deployed, love him strong and remind him how amazing he is because he may need that extra boost and reminder that this all is worth it and he can do it. Another thing to remember is, nothing is guaranteed with them and their line of work... they are the best of the best with the best training and support... but every moment you have with each other is precious because you just never know.
Emotions - team life is definitely the 6 flags theme park of emotional roller coasters. You'll have your days... of ups and downs... but you get through it and get to know your strength and blessings that much better. The most important thing... don't get down on yourself... if you miss him like crazy, then the next moment you're mad he's not around, then later you're soooo happy and joyous that he's your man and what he's accomplished. It's all apart of the process. Let yourself feel all the emotions and figure out how to deal with them and you'll come out stronger person and a better partner in the marriage. Me personally... I run... it helps to workout and keep the emotions in check when they leave for their trips or deployment. The wives also do crossfit. It's awesome and great time to work it out and "get some" and also bond with the other wives.
Teams - when your husband becomes apart of a team... it's a brotherhood. This may not be a problem for some wives for others its a tough concept. Team guys are different than your typical warrior. They LOVE LOVE LOVE what they do. They are the kind of guys that that ask for deployment and when they get sent over to the middle east or other missions they are considered lucky. They train soooo hard and want to do what they have been trained to do and want to be where the action is, even if that means being away from their loved ones. They know you are strong enough to handle or else they wouldn't have brought you this far if they didn't think you were capable. Without sounding to dramatic my husband and I always like this particular scene in the movie "300", when the queen sends her husband, the king, off to battle. In this scene when they are saying good bye and the narrator says, "Only the hard and strong may call themselves Spartans" and they show the king leaving and the queen standing strong and stoic. That scene resonated with us and team lifestyle we lead. Not everyone can be a SEAL and the same is to be said for the women that do the behind the scenes work so our men can pursue their passion and serve our country! Not a lot of women can lead this life style it really is only for the hard and strong. My husband and I say when he's deployed he takes care of that side of the world and I take care of this side.
Another thing to say about the teams... it's a family and great support. Everyone takes care of everyone, the wives and the team guys and the command it's self. We're family we go through a lot together everything from the birth of new babies to the loss of team guy and everything in between. You are never alone and always someone going through it with you! It's a great blessing!
Now, I don't know if I said too much or not enough. These are all just some my thoughts and my experiences. I don't speak for any other team wives only my own thoughts. Either way let me know if you have any questions. Keep it strong girl! I think your awesome to already get a jump start on this and support your husband the way you are! Takes a strong woman! Just take each day as it comes, as a team!
Take care of yourselves and I wish you two all the best!
Teamwife8807
"One who overcomes others has force;
One who overcomes himself is strong."
~Taoist Poem