Jen_MV
01-16-2008, 05:34 PM
It's obvious from some recent threads we all need to take a breather and some here need a Psych evaluation . . . haha . . .
Coincidentally, this week is Mental Health Week. Many SEALs here stated in the past how BUD/S is more mental than physical. So, let's all take care of our mental health! . . . let's start by having a laugh! . . .
Here is an email I got from Medical collegues. I get these all the time. Just something to tickle your fancy. I have to say there are some descriptions here that I am guilty of doing! :D Enjoy!
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on
the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the
Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will
tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before
the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up... our operators are too
busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan,
lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your
part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show
you care.
I contacted you, so my job is done
Coincidentally, this week is Mental Health Week. Many SEALs here stated in the past how BUD/S is more mental than physical. So, let's all take care of our mental health! . . . let's start by having a laugh! . . .
Here is an email I got from Medical collegues. I get these all the time. Just something to tickle your fancy. I have to say there are some descriptions here that I am guilty of doing! :D Enjoy!
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on
the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the
Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will
tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before
the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up... our operators are too
busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan,
lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your
part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show
you care.
I contacted you, so my job is done